The clash of two worlds

Growing up, Chicano means growing up trying to belong in two worlds, my heritage Mexican and my country Estado Unidos. I want to recognize that this clash of cultures is apparent in many ways, but language will be the focus. The clash of two cultures forged the third; one plus one now equals three. Our parents always want what is best for us, and this can add pressure to assimilate. I will speak of “my truth” from my experiences. My parents did not want me in bilingual classes, English only in school like my Anglo counterparts, and Spanish would be taught at home. The way my father saw it was every time I am pulled from an English class to practice what we speak at home, I was losing the information I needed to succeed. In “How to Tame a Wild Tongue,” Gloria Anzaldua states “If you want to be American, speak American,”  this was the way Anglo’s treated immigrants and their children. Our parents had a complejo (complex) of an accent; Anzaldua wrote that her mother would be “mortified that I spoke English like a Mexican.” My mother, to this day, is mortified of her accent. This added pressure to us to learn “Standard English” and help birth a new language. At home, we spoke Spanish and school English it is only natural for the two to mix like two types of water in a single pool. In Texas, we spoke Tex-Mex to our friends. The lyrics on Snow’s song “Bilingue,” I “jaja” con jota “hahaha” with the ‘j,’ you laugh haha in English and jaja en Spanish. We are now not bilingual anymore; we are fluent in Standard English, Working class and slang English, Standard Spanish, Standard Mexican Spanish, North Mexican Spanish dialect, and Chicano Spanish (Pachuco and Tex-Mex). (Anzaldua 36) How I speak and what I say is directly related to my audience. I use North Mexican Spanish with my mom, with my white friends, I speak slang English, at school/ work, Standard English, and my Chicano friends Pachuco and Tex-Mex. I am now a polyglot but am only seen as a bilingual person. A new culture resulted from the crashing of two and a new language. In trying to assimilate, we made more complex separations and have fresh waters we must transverse through.